Help with an ADHD social problem?

Help with an ADHD social problem?
i have ADHD AN I HAVE MORE THEN JUST THAT. i an 30 years old but i have the brain of an 9 year old . when i was in school no one like me. for me to stay in school i had to be on a lol of meds an i did not like that i wold go to be at 4pm bec of my meds of you need someone to chat to about this i gave you my email tabithacatlover1980@yahoo.com
Hello, i'm 23 and having a little social issue i'm wondering if anyone else suffers from.....

To start I should say i'm a pretty classic ADHD; difficulty starting tasks, staying on tasks, do things without thinking, forgetful, simple mistakes, million thoughts a minute, addictive personality, constantly analyze and reanalyze, etc etc. I've had pretty severe ADHD all my life but my parents chose to skip the meds. I didn't do well in high school and only had a few friends, pretty standard ADHD, but many of my issues cleared up during my college/right-after college years when you're forced to constantly socialize. I work in music engineering now and I believe at this point my life ADHD (along with parents that nurtured MY way of thinking) is really a blessing, in that people seem amazed at my fountain of creativity, ability to adapt and see the 'big picture' and of course when I get in states of hyperfocus and my brain goes on autopilot and spits out golden creativity. I've graduated college and have a nice little 9-5 audio gig going, and i've reached a point in my career where much of my work and chance to advance comes through networking at social events, and here lies my final unconquered ADHD symptom, 'social retardation' as my mother used to call it. In college I was filling myself with too much scotch and pot to notice it I guess, or perhaps the context of college social life is just much easier. Nowadays when I goto these functions, or a lot of the time just in general socializing, my brain thats usually the life of the party, outgoing, silly, fun, is just sortve turned off. I've read storied about ppl with ADHD that just have too many thoughts and worries and they have no mental energy left for the 'normal' things like thinking of something to say. My friends find it really odd that i'm constantly cracking jokes and being funny at home, but going out to network my brain just shuts off, I doubt I could even start a convo with someone if it wasn't forced upon me. When i'm in a conversation my brain is useless, I have nothing to say, cant think of anything, i'm not myself, I fidget.... people sometimes ask me if i'm alright, how embarrassing. A funny thing is if I wasn't following my dream of music i'd be a writer, my writing (although I dont enjoy it and cant be bothered to sit and write) has always floored my teachers, I have a special way of transcribing EXACTLY what my chaotic and creative brain is cooking up onto paper. I've had people tell me I must be shy, I must be an introvert, but I disagree. Any shyness in me was taken young by the rough lil patch of south philly we come from. I also have my full confidence when entering above described situations, its when it comes to using the brain it all falls apart. I'm not scared or worried about the conversation, and I don't have self-image issues. I am an introvert however, but besides 'living in my own head' much of the time, I don't see any real negative symptoms from it. I've just sort've been dealing with my current social stigma and being the wierdo at these events and i'm fed up with it. Its sort've like a tv remote with no batteries, I know how it should function, but it just ain't doin its thing. I've tried all the relaxation techniques, cutting out sugary foods, lots of exercise, vitamins, proper sleep, breathing techniques, to no avail (although they did help my other symptoms). It's so very frustrating that my brain does this to me, i'm HUNGRY to advance and this issue is like the equivlant of going to these buisnesses/places without pants on; i've already failed.

Similar situation/treatment?? Should I get on meds??

Thanks,
-D

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